Apology

 

I didn’t join them on their jaunts, my friends,

Never launched a clanging raid on the chainlink

Around some prohibited place, never scrambled

Through the backlit wood toward some worthless view

 

For the thrill, never courted needless danger,

Never fought for the pure blood buzz.

Nothing unplotted appealed to me.

I would not dive in the dark.

 

Instead, I waited in the lot, by the gate, on the dock.

Half-hiding, I invented the senselessness of their racing,

Erasing in advance the force of their findings.

Vaguely concerned with my record, with pain,

 

I convinced myself I was a thing to be saved,

Believing some precious design had fixed

A better calling to consume me until

The night was eclipsed by my friends’ laughing return—

 

No greater cause set out for me.

Nothing staked itself past the redundant dream

Of careless offering, no grand conviction came to me

Though I sense how nothing can happen for so long,

 

How unrisked life yawns,

How some night, unannounced,

I will struggle past the breakers, feeling only

Then why I let the waves bring my body in—

 

 

by Mike Theune

2 responses

18 04 2009
Dr. John

Ahhhhh! An interesting self-study, perhaps? A metaphor for something unexpected yet to come? I jump into the pool of a dream? I hope you dive into the feelings, and let your body swim past the breakers of fear to new dimensions of excitement and reality that only risk can lead too. Mmmmmmm. Rest, indeed!

20 04 2009
Mike Theune

“Apology,” I think, is, for me, everything you figure it may be, John: self-study, metaphor, a leap, and a recognition that risk can lead to new opportunities and insights, maybe even to a new life– I hope I can live up to this poem! We shall see…

Cheers,
Mike

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